Some reason How Your Childhood Affects Your Life
Do you ever catch yourself doing something like having a mini panic attack when you’re asked to speak in front of others? But maybe needing to be the center of attention all the time, and wonder why do I do that? Part of the answer lies in how you bonded with your parents during your childhood, the way you were raised, where you were raised, and your relationship with your family shapes a large part of who you’ll become as an adult. One of the ways your childhood molds you into the person you are is the development of your attachment style. This video talks about the four attachment styles, as well as how you can spot them at work or school in relationships, and in a crisis. You might be wondering what is an attachment style and why should I care?
Thanks to the research of Harry Harlow and John Bowlby, the mental health community uses the phrase “Attachment style” to describe the ways we interact with and attach to others throughout our lives. As you might have guessed You start developing your attachment style as an infant. It’s first formed by the way you bond with your caregivers then continues to be shaped throughout your childhood.
Understanding your attachment style is the big deal because it can tell you a lot about How you relate to your friends and family, how you work with groups of people, and how your handle problems or obstacles in your life? Of course, there are other things such as your temperament, culture, and self-talk that influence the way you deal with people. But for now, let’s learn more about attachment style. In 1970, psychologist Mary Ainsworth wanted to know more about how children with different temperaments attached to their parents and what this says about how they relate to the rest of the world. Would they get separation anxiety when they were away from their mother, or what they settle into their environment just fine? Her research has shown us people form attachments in one of four ways.
1, Secure (type B). People with this attachment style are confident that their needs will be met. They’re the most likely to assert themselves and ask for help.
2 Insecure avoidant (type A) People with this attachment style tend to appear more withdrawn and independent. They don’t usually believe others will meet their needs and rarely ask for help.
3, Insecure Ambivalent/Resistant (type C) People with this attachment style can be difficult to read because they alternate between being super clingy and rejecting others. They’re often insecure and seem to have trouble exploring new situations
4, Disorganized. People with this attachment style view all interactions with others as if they’re a chance to solve old traumatic situations from their past. They tend to suffer from depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD. Those of the disorganized attachment style are more likely than the other three styles to use negative things like drugs, alcohol, or starting drama to disconnect from painful feelings. If everyone has an attachment style, then you can probably name at least one person in your life with each style. Let’s take a look at how the four styles relate to others at work school and relationships and in a crisis. If this e examples remind you of anyone, tell us about it in the comments.
1. Secure attachment style (type B). At work or school, People with a secure attachment style are typically focused and good communicators. They’re the least likely to get involved in gossip or drama. But the most likely to ask questions at meetings or sit in the front of the class. In relationships, people with a secure attachment style are the most likely to make the first move and the least likely to play at games. They tend to have healthy boundaries and are usually respectful of others boundaries. In a crisis, Although those are the secure attachment style don’t enjoy a drama or crisis, they’re able to manage their emotions and see the big picture when problems happen. They keep their cool enough to tolerate differences of opinion and help smooth over hurt feelings.
2. Insecure avoidant (type A) At workers school the person with an insecure avoidant attachment Style probably has difficulty making friends and is probably seen as a loner at school or work They tend to be more focused on the work itself rather than the social part of group projects. In relationships, your friend or significant other with an insecure avoidant attachment style may have problems talking about or even identifying how they’re feeling They tend to be happier talking about more intellectual topics. The person with an insecure avoidant attachment style is also more likely to be that friend who tells you “Nothing’s wrong”, then explodes with anger. In a crisis, the person with an insecure avoidant attachment style goes out of their way to avoid super emotional situations Which actually makes them great in a crisis. They’re able to use their more objective nature to take charge and do what’s needed in order to solve a problem
3. Insecure Ambivalent/Resistant (type C) At work or school, these are the classmates and co-workers who always seem preoccupied or anxious People with the type C attachment style tend to be more sensitive about their work and need more reassurance than other attachment styles. In relationships, those with a Type C attachment style are often labeled as way too sensitive because they react strongly to anything That seems like they’re being rejected by you This may cause a person with a Type C attachment style to be clingy or attempt to reject you before you reject them They also tend to blame others for their relationship issues. In a crisis, people with the type C attachment style seemed to feed on drama and will often stir the pot during a crisis Because of their anxiety and habit of personalizing other’s behavior, those with an insecure ambivalent resistant attachment style need a lot of reassurance and advice when they’re having issues. And
4. Disorganized At work or school, whether they do it by pulling fire alarms, getting a co-worker fired or proudly breaking the rules, People with a disorganized attachment style love to test boundaries Classmates and co-workers might see the person with a disorganized attachment style as charismatic but they’re the most likely to engage in Mean Girl type behaviors. In relationships, it can be downright challenging to have a close one with someone who has a disorganized attachment style because they can be aggressive, abusive and manipulative. Loved ones of people with a disorganized attachment style often feel like they’re replacing those that have hurt this person in the past in this person’s current drama. In a crisis, because they often feel as though they’re reliving past negativity or abuse, people with the disorganized attachment style often feel triggered by crisis. These feelings of being triggered can lead to explosive anger Substance abuse and the need to punish others Did you see yourself or anyone you know in any of those examples? More importantly, how did you feel about what you heard? If you recognized something you didn’t like in yourself, the good news is attachment styles aren’t set in stone. You can unlearn your bad habits and self-talk by working with the right therapist and putting in the work.
This was Some reason How Your Childhood Affects Your Life
Also read :- 9 Signs Someone is a Narcissist.